I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
