You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize