There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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