the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
