Those balls look pretty dangerous.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
