I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I've blown a few things in my day
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
