My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
