When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize