If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
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