I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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