dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
