found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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