dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
