Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
