She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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