I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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