I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
