I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize