Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
