Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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