im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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