Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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