I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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