My cat gives me a boner
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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