ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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