why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
