Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think people are normalizing furries
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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