were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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