Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
