To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
