from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
