Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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