I wish life had little blips of pornography
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
