we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was like eating out sand paper
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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