I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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