I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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