Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
