It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
