I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
