The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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