on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
My penis needs a shock collar
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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