i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
