Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
