i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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