At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
