So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
