Do you still have your period?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize