I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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