The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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