This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
