Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
