Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
