Define "chronic" masturbator.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
