your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
