How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sarcasm needs its own font
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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