If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize