Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
