so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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