i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
