Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
