i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
