How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
