Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize