i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
