I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
