just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
