im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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