dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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