2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Fuck appropriateness.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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