M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
