just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
