East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
