you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
