i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
