I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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